As of publishing time the White House staff began to remove all sharp objects from the Oval Office, but assured the nation that Biden controlling the nuclear football would still be fine.
By BabylonBee.com
WASHINGTON, DC (July 21)— President Biden finally admitted this afternoon that he is no longer mentally fit to be President, then assured the nation that he will continue being president.
“I have to face reality. My mind isn’t what it used to be,” President Biden announced Sunday. “I forget things. Sometimes I don’t know where I am. Yesterday I mistook a houseplant for Janet Yellen. It’s something about her face.
“So, with a heavy heart, I am announcing that I am no longer fit to be President and will cease campaigning. Still, you can sleep easy knowing I will continue running the country for the next six months as President. End of quote.”
The announcement came following the encouragement of dozens of Democratic leaders, who believe the President is simply unable to run for another term but should be passable for another few months in the Oval Office.
“Um, sure, six months is probably okay,” said Nancy Pelosi to members of the press. “I mean, as long as nothing too important comes up. He tried to declare war on a fire extinguisher the other day, but we caught it before all the papers were signed. It will be fine.”
As of publishing time, the White House staff had to remove all sharp objects from the Oval Office, but assured the nation that Biden controlling the nuclear football would still be fine. ##
[Babylon Bee subscriber Douglas O’Brien contributed to this report.]
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-who-admitted-he-is-unfit-to-be-president-assures-nation-he-will-continue-being-president field_65426a1508ed0 field_65426b7bbba58_field_6498e20a9457d field_65426b7bbba58_field_6498e20a9457a field_65426b7bbba58_field_6498e20a94576 field_65426b7bbba58_field_6498e20a94573 field_65426b7bbba58_field_6498e20a94573 field_65426b7bbba58_field_6498e20a9456d